john14_18

Perfect Love

I stood there,
Still,
Eyes fixated on nothing,
My mind taking it all in.
They did not matter,
The children,
Adults,
Lovebirds,
Horses.
Nothing at all,
No one at all.
The waves came crashing on me,
I stood still,
Transfixed.

Then it all came,
The mistakes,
The past.
As the sun rose steady behind the ocean,
The light exposed it all.
Scars became open wounds again,
The past became the present,
My mistakes became my life.
The waves came crashing in again,
But this time was different,
My tear glands becoming one with the ocean,
One tear for who I used to be,
Another for all the pain,
Then another for all those who ever left,
More for the walls I kept up high.
They kept coming for the times words cut me deeper than razors did,
And the times I walked with my head up high.
The times I didn’t care – or maybe did,
The times she hurt me,
The times she acted like I was nothing,
And the times she enticed me only for what she wanted.
The realization that I was but a tool,
The realization that people always leave,
And people are not who they seem they are.
Then they came in rivulets knowing all this didn’t matter.
The sun was up now,
The light came with a warmth, a Presence.
The tears rushed with a knowing that,
I was loved regardless.
Perfect love healed me,
This love gave me strength,
Made a beauty out of my scars,
And showed me a future void of pain.

The waves came crashing in again,
But now I ran along with the children by my side,
I laughed a genuine laugh,
I turned my back on the ocean a different person.
I was the person who came with all my baggage,
It was I who came with all my dirt.
But His grace had stripped me naked,
And His love had purged me clean.

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