Hi Readers,

This is an entry by a friend. She read the purges on my blog and sent something in. I hope you feel this pierce your soul like it did mine.

Image

There’s so much words hidden in the silence.. With every breath, every sigh, so much to say.. Too many secrets hidden behind those pretty eyes… Let out the purge. It’s about to quench your soul…

Tell them about the pain inside, they never will understand. They are used to judging, jumping into conclusions like they have an idea what it means to be you. Tell them about your little secret(s), maybe, just maybe it’ll lighten your heart and give them room to understand.

I did it. I killed him. And I feel no sense of remorse for my actions. I was a child of eight, and I loved uncle Pete. He said he was mom’s brother, little did I know that he was one of her numerous quickies. Ice cream! Oh how I loved him for that. His little way of melting my heart with every taste of the sweet thing. Uncle, what is that? Stop, mom says I should cover up when strangers are around. “My sweet darling, you’re growing up so fast. I remember when I could lift you up with one finger and toss you around…” (Laughing) oh uncle.. You really could do that? “Yes of course.. Come’re let me show you little thing..” Uncle stop! Uncle.. Uncle.. Aaahhhhh!!! And that was it.. Life drifting away.. Light fading from my very eyes.. Uncle dear uncle…

“Don’t you dare tell your mother”, he said. Night after night I was left to bear the pain, oh how much it hurt. “It’ll get better”, he would say. Little did I know that I was being molested and that the pain would hurt me for life.. Life? Is this life? I am like a walking corpse, because 15 years down the line, I’m yet to know what it means to live. Dear uncle gets uglier everyday. And pretty me is bared from making any friends let alone male friends. Male friends.. I hate their guts. I’ve even grown to hate my brother. Maybe he’ll be like the devil I know someday, who knows…

As I watch him breath his last, I feel within me the deepest sense of satisfaction. He deserves it. I’ve waited so long for this. How did he get to find me? I left for school, leaving no trace behind. How did he hack me down? the devil… “Hey darl.. Missed me?” Hell yeah! I did.. Come on in.. He felt so at home, sitting on my couch, sipping my wine.. Technically, he’s here to continue from where he last left off.. But I’m not the same anymore. He can’t win this time. “Come here, baby, sit on uncle’s laps… I’ve missed you, you know. But did you think I’d not find you? I’ve got my eyes on you girl. Anyway, I forgive you. Gimme a kiss…” Here we go again.. Daisy.. The bottle.. Do it! (Scream… Silence…) Dear uncle, this is for 15 useless years of my life.. Rot in hell…

Tell them about the person you’ve become, how little you think of life, how you’ve had to take care of your own life because people who own the responsibility have left you to your fate.. How you’ve had to run for your life, because the whole world has come crumbling down.. Life is worthless.. My heart is heavy.. Nothing’s real. It’s all a farce. I’m ready to walk in my own shadows, that way, none cares about my existence.. But watch your back.! I’ll come into your life like thick black smoke, and disappear like the mist, leaving a lasting impression, one you will never forget if you live to tell your story.

I never asked for this… But everyone must pay!

This is her purge, not mine… Remember, There’s so much words hidden in my silence.. With every breath, every sigh, so much to say.. Too many secrets hidden behind my pretty eyes… Letting out my purge will take more than just the tap of my fingers on a key pad.. Try harder!

by: Emrysmilla (Voices)… Silence…

she blogs at www.emrysmilla.wordpress.com and she is @emrysmilla202 on twitter

yours truly @sunkit1 on twitter