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Manickal’s Purge

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I actually intended to tell a fictitious tale. And then I realized I’d told too many. Maybe this time, I just have to be real. Reveal a bit about my true self. LOL. I always tell myself that maybe one day I’ll find that person who I can pour out myself too. Even shed tears a little while doing that. Release the weight that has burdened me for so long. Let myself go. Oh well, what the heck…

The first time I contemplated committing suicide, I was 13 years old. I was in boarding school. The story behind it makes me laugh till this day. I had been the usual quiet guy in boarding school, talking only when I needed to. Spoke only when I was spoken to and the person speaking to me needed a reply. I never talked to girls. Even when they tried speaking to me, I would shy away from them. I liked being on my own, so I could think dark thoughts and draw a few of them on whatever plain pages I could find. I never liked to offend people. I wanted people to either be indifferent about me or not care about my existence at all. As long as they were not angry at me for something I might have or not have done, I was cool. I wasn’t a friend to many of my mates, neither was I to any of my seniors. And they’re the last folks in boarding school I wanted to offend. I’d seen what they did to students who offended them. It had put great fear in my heart and mind. I didn’t want to be the one exexperiencing such a grueling form of punishment.

A day came when we had to go for lunch. In the dining hall were different tables. Each table had eight students assigned to them for the week. And out of the eight students, one of them was a senior. The school had begun four years before my arrival. The most senior class was the Senior Secondary class 1. Or SS1. The senior on my table was nicknamed Tega by his colleagues. It had nothing to do with his real name. He just loved to be called Tega. Tega hadn’t come for lunch that afternoon, so I assumed Tega was not hungry, so I shared the food among seven of us that were present. That assumption was wrong, and almost cost me my life. Tega came into the dining hall with some of his senior pals when we were just about through with the food and looked into the pot. The pot was empty. Tega’s face became one that I, at that time, identified with pure evil. His face twisted into a malevolent scowl as he asked who the person was that had shared the food. All eyes settled on me, but no one spoke. Tega didn’t need a deity to tell him who the perpetrator of such great travesty was. I had stopped chewing a while back when he walked in and there was still food on my plate. Tega walked up to me, stared down at me for a few seconds and the next thing I saw was his right hand slapping me across the face and throwing me off the seat. I fell on the floor and I didn’t want to get up. There was a ringing in my right ear. I felt I’d gone deaf in that ear. But Tega wasn’t done with me, he dragged me by my day-uniform and brought my face to his. I could smell the terror emanating from him. He looked like the type that would kill me and throw my body over the school fence. But students were not allowed to kill other students. They could only punish them. And I knew Tega. He was a sadist. And the School’s assistant senior prefect.

The rest of my day was a horrible one. I had lain under Tega’s bed until it was time for dinner. And the dinner wasn’t even mine. For my portion belonged to Tega. The prefect allowed me to just one meal a day for the next week. Breakfast. Lunch and dinner was his to do what he pleased with. A few mates who were compassionate shared some of their food with me. It was a terrible time for me. The hours of starvation were coupled with hours of punishment. Washed his sheets. Fetched him water. Made his bed. Did his weekly school chores. All because of one stupid assumption. Some of my mates told me to report him to the school authorities or to my guardian then. But I had seen such happen before. Students who had been badly maltreated had reported their oppressors to the school. The school had disciplined the Senior involved, but that only angered them more. And made them do worse. We could all remember the tale of Gbenga, who had left the school with a broken neck, and never returned. A senior student had pushed him out of a first floor window, and was expelled. I couldn’t report Tega. I was scared of him. I just wanted the whole ordeal to be over. I even prayed about it. Maybe God heard, maybe He didn’t. He could have prevented what happened next if He did, yes?

It was a Friday morning, we were about to have breakfast. Everybody liked this particular meal. Even I. I was so happy my oppressor could allow me have breakfast. Just as I was about to take a bite into the Agege bread and fried egg, Tega holds me by the neck and tells me to drop it. My whole body went weak. From fear, my mien transformed to anger. That day, I decided I’d had enough. I’d missed lunch and dinner for six days because of that guy. I’d begged for scraps from people I wouldn’t even talk to. I’d suffered numerous punishments and embarrassments all for his sake. And just when I was about to enjoy a meal I loved so much he tells me to drop it? I stood up, looked him in the eye and told him no. He looked shocked at my reply. He tried to hit me but I blocked his hand with mine and pushed him away. Tega never thought a JSS2 student could stand up to him. He was flabbergasted. He drew his belt and was about to use it on me before the school Guardian halted him. He happened to be in the dining hall at that particular time. He had been watching our little scuffle. He ordered Tega out of the dining hall and told him to match to his quarters and await punishment. My bravery drained from me quickly. Tega’s last scowl at me before he left felt like it was death staring at me. But I knew I wasn’t going to die. I knew I was going to suffer so much I wish I was dead. Tega couldn’t kill me, but he would make want to die.

For the next few hours, I kept thinking about what Tega would do to me when he returned from the Guardian’s place. I couldn’t think of anything else but every possible form of punishment that the sadist could think up and use it upon me. My body shivered everytime I thought of one. All my mates pitied me. They even talked about how they saw the Guardian punishing Tega, him crying and begging for forgiveness. The Guardian had learned about Tega’s oppression of me for the past week. He was meting out the deserved punishment for such inhumanity. The thought of Tega begging for crying and begging for forgiveness made tears flow from my eyes at the prospect of what he would do to me when he returned. I wanted to run somewhere and hide forever. I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me. I wanted my parents to come and take me far, far away from this school.

I wanted to die.

I had heard about suicide before. I had images in my head of people hanging from ropes around their necks. I remembered Judas. I wondered how I could do that. I thought about other ways to kill myself. I also had once heard about a girl who had slit her wrists with a blade. I went and bought a blade, and I opened it and brought it to my wrists. I imagined how it would be to die and leave this cursed world. I didn’t have any friends. Nobody cared. And Tega would be the least to care when he returned from the guardian’s quarters. There really was no reason to live. Nobody, except my parents, would miss me. And it would serve them right for bringing me to that school which I had hated. I looked at the blade and looked at my wrists. I was the only one in the hostel when the other students were in class. I would be dead when they returned and there would be a huge uproar in the school. After a while though, I realized I didn’t have the heart for it. I dropped the blade and closed my eyes. I found resolve in myself to accept whatever was coming. Let Tega have his way…

Tega returned. And the first thing he did was call me to his corner. He was lying on his bed and looking into emptiness. I stood there looking at him. The whole dormitory was quiet. They waited for what was coming next. Tega apologized to me, there and then. He told me he was truly sorry for what he did. He told me he would never do it again. He asked me to forgive him. I couldn’t believe my ears, and tears came to my eyes. The only thing I could say was “okay”  and he permitted me to leave. I went to my bed and I thanked God. I laughed a little. I was relieved. I didn’t suffer, and I didn’t die.

I’m Michael, known as @ManickaL on twitter. I’m a mel-phleg personality I think. I’m a socially-awkward, very quiet type of guy who writes for fun. Its kind of a hobby for me. I blog at musedminds.com and  mykaliztales.WordPress.com (personal blog)

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Dear Readers,

I must apologize for stopping Diary of  a Minister’s Kid abruptly. Some issues came up that had to put it to a stop.

Enjoy this new post. Thanks for always being there.

                                      SWEET ESCAPE

images    By: Seyi Oluyole

Cynthia woke up that morning on top of the world; she had no idea the day would end with world on top of her.

Once she was on the 7th floor of the ten story building office where she worked as a production manager, she got out of the elevator.

She took her royal steps and strode by other employees like she did every morning. But this morning was different. She was not getting her usual looks of admiration, envy, respect; they paid no homage.

This morning everyone seemed to be looking at her with contempt. Even the interns who never dared to look up at her were glowering fearlessly.

She began to feel like she was in a dark forest filled with owls staring at her with their large forward facing eyes. Her black Louboutin shoes suddenly began to make her feet wobble.

She tried her best keep her calm and poise as she walked past them. She decided to get into her office first and look in the mirror to be sure she hadn’t been struck by leprosy before she decided what to do about their unholy stares.

Once she got into her office, she breathed out in relief, dumped her Gucci portfolio on her seat and made a rush for her bathroom.

She stared at herself in the mirror; saw nothing new.

She was still the same Cynthia; brown eyes, black hair, high cheekbones and irresistible Angelina Jolie lips. She raised her hands, saw her wedding ring and whispered sadly

‘ And still married.’ she let a moment pass and said again in bitterness

‘I curse the day I met you Bobby’

*                                            *                                   *

Cynthia was lying on her ostrich beach chair reading a magazine and enjoying the sound of the rolling sea wave when she drifted into a short sleep.

‘Hi’ the masculine voice said, upsetting the serenity she was experiencing.

She wasn’t in the mood to entertain a pervert and She was prepared to give whomever it was a saucy attitude that would have him running. Cynthia waited a few seconds before making an attempt to respond.  The moment she put up her head, saw his shirtless body, she had a change of heart.

‘Hello’ Cynthia said sitting up.

she noticed he had already set his beach chair beside her, this made her wonder how long she must have slept when.

‘I’m Bob and I don’t mean to bug you. I was getting bored sitting all alone and I thought I’d just make some conversation’

Cynthia smiled, wondering how such a spruce guy could think he was bugging her.  She tried her best to make sure the smile did not transform into a blush; she couldn’t make it so obvious she liked him.

‘ That’s fine. My name is Cynthia ’ she said.

Cynthia began to think of ways to get Bob to ask her out on a date. She looked at his ring finger, it was as bare as naked daylight.

strike one she thought as she desperately hoped he wasn’t one of those married men who took off their wedding bands to hit on women. She had had enough of them to last a lifetime.

But with such comely body, she doubted he was married. Married men didn’t usually look this good shirtless.

After some minutes of trivial conversation, Bob said

‘Cynthia I would like to see you again. What are you doing tomorrow night?’

Cynthia was elated but tried on a poker face .

‘Are you married?’ she asked

Bobby laughed ‘Oh no. Do I look married?’

‘I wouldn’t know.  Just taking precautions. I don’t want to be going around with another woman’s man. I don’t like to share my men.’

she bit her tongue with that last statement. She wished she could take it back, he wasn’t even her man yet and she was claiming ownership.

‘That’s fine Cynthia. You don’t have to share me with any other woman. So tomorrow?’ Bob asked again

‘Positive’ Cynthia replied.

He asked for her number and she gave it to him without asking for his. She didn’t want to appear desperate; she had shown enough of that already.

Immediately he left, Cynthia called her best friend Tito and told her everything.

*                                      *                                       *

Certain that there was nothing wrong with her and the employees just felt like toying with their jobs, she went back into her office. She was going to call for a general meeting when Beyoncé’s ‘we run the world’ interrupted her plans; her phone was ringing. It was her friend Tito.

‘Hey babe how you doing’ Cynthia said once she picked the call

‘Good. Have you checked your mail Cynthia?

‘Nope. I just got in a few minutes ago and–’

‘Cynthia please just check your mail as soon as you can’ beep Tito was off.

Cynthia wondered what the whole check your mail saga was about, that was unlike Tito. Tito was her best friend from college and they could tell each other anything. Tito knew her greatest secrets, she knew who Cynthia really was behind her poise and sassiness.

*                           *                               *

Bob had picked Cynthia from home on their first date. Cynthia felt at ease with him, he seemed to light up her heart like a matchstick.

At around 11pm he dropped her off at home.

‘You wanna come in and have a drink or something’ Cynthia asked him when they were at her front door.

‘Sure’ he said.

Cynthia opened the door ushering Bob in.

‘What would you like?’

‘Your lips’ His response threw her off balance

‘Huh?’

Bob got up and moved close to her, the space between them was barely an inch; their breaths were getting heavy.

‘I said I want your lips’ Bob said again and planted his lips on Cynthia’s.  Cynthia’s mind was spinning like a top as she responded to his passionate kiss.

Cynthia barely hard the chance to think about how fast things were going, she wasn’t about to stop him. She decided to save regrets for later and enjoy the bliss the moment could offer.

Their hands began to move on each other’s flesh, and their body’s began to want more than a kiss. Cynthia gave in to the pleasure of the moment with no inhibitions. They ended up in her bedroom, on her bed and Cynthia was glad she ate well during the date.

By morning, she woke up to two things: the birds singing and a kiss on her lips by Bob. He was fully dressed already.

‘I need to leave, I have some business to attend to.’ Bob said.

It was a Sunday morning and Cynthia almost asked what business it was. Regret was beginning creep in. First date and she was already in bed with guy she hardly knew.

‘This might sound cliché but I don’t usually sleep with my first dates’ Cynthia said trying more to save any self respect she might have left.

‘I don’t make love with women on my first dates either. It’s not our fault that our chemistry took over our sense of reason. I’ll call you later’ he said and was out through the door.

*                                       *                                            *

Cynthia sat down on her office chair and turned on her computer. Since she was in the office already, she saw no reason checking her mail on a tablet. Tito probably sent a picture of some really cute shoes, which she would definitely adore better on a large computer screen.

Her phone rang again while she was putting in her password. It was Bob this time.

‘Hey’ she said dryly

‘What have you done Cynthia?’

‘I married you. That’s what I’ve done’ Cynthia replied with regret laced in her voice

‘Why do you choose to be so shameless and drag me with you?’

‘What is it Bob? I have things to do.’

‘Oh yes! I bet you do’  he hung up.

‘Bastard’ Cynthia said in anger

*                                  *                                                  *

Like a cherry blossom, Cynthia and Bob’s love blossomed and a year later they were married.

Five years after marriage, they had two children but it still felt like they were on their honeymoon. Bob made certain Cynthia’s smile never stopped lighting up an already sun drenched day. Bob was now running for governorship and Cynthia loved him and the children with everything in her.

One of the weekends when Bob went on a political campaign trip, Cynthia took the children to Tito’s and decided to surprise Bob. He always gave her all the information about where he was lodging, so she had no problem finding his room.

Once she located the room, she opened the door.

Oh my God!’ she screamed

Bob turned, his eyes as wide as the moon. He picked up a towel and wrapped up himself

‘What are you doing here Cynthia?’

‘Oh my God Bob’ was all she could say

‘I tried to protect you from all of these. Why didn’t you call me before coming over?’

‘Bob why? why? What did you want that I did not give you; that you had to stoop so low’

‘This is who I truly am Cynthia. But I really needed a wife and maybe some children to help my political plans.’

‘So I am supposed to be your trophy wife while you sleep around.’

‘I don’t sleep around Cynthia. Its just him and you.’

‘So I have been married to you all these years and you have been having sex with men?’

‘I was with Silas before we met. I know you love me, Silas feels the same way you feel about me.’

Cynthia did not know what to do or say, confusion clouded her mind. She just found out her husband of five years was bisexual. He made love to her and then made love to men too.

‘I want a divorce’ Cynthia said

‘I’m sorry Cynthia I cant give you a divorce. I can’t afford to lose this election and have my name all over the papers. And if you insist or try something funny Cynthia, I’ll make sure you never see the children again. But if you stay, this will be our little secret. You could have your own men too if that’s what you wish. ’

*                                 *                            *

Cynthia opened the mail Tito sent and saw it was a link. She chuckled.

‘I knew it was a picture of shoes or something’ she said to herself and clicked the link.

The pictures had shoes in them but a naked woman wore them, obviously while taking crazy pictures for her lover. Cynthia knew her life had been crushed at that moment because she was the woman in the pictures and it was all over the Internet.

She had accepted Bob’s offer three years ago.

Her boyfriend Austin had taken some pictures of her naked last night. She couldn’t believe it was all over the Internet.

Now she understood the looks she had gotten when she came in this morning, they had all seen the pictures.

She had to talk to Tito; she just had to. But She couldn’t go out of her office and face the other employees. She began to think of alternatives, she had to see Tito now and get some comfort.

“I need you now Tito” Cynthia said as she looked around her office  like a lost child. her eyes caught the window, she pulled it up and without any thought jumped out the window, making her sweet escape from a judgmental world.

@sunkit1 on twitter

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